Chef Ninja ヽ(｀д´)ノ Secret Citrus Jutsu

As promised, here is my post on how to fillet a citrus fruit.

Yeah, I know, that was a long time coming, but I'm rather at my limit in terms of blogging time.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, my sweet lady and me are about to move.
Well.. at least I have to move out soon, though we still got no new apartment. And that fact gets me rather on the edgy side.

So, besides getting another rejection, I decided it was time to work on the promised post. After all I had to do something to clear my mind.

Thus today, I'll teach you shinobi of the kitchen the  
long hidden and extremely powerful jutsu that will easily defeat your opponents or could be used to fillet citrus fruits


Took me some time to align the pics, *screw you CSS code* but here we go! 


〜(^∇^〜）                                           （〜^∇^)〜

Step 1:
Free your mind and try to get one with your knife.

ヽ(ー_ー )ノ

Calm your breath, aim, then swiftly cut off both edges of the citrus fruit in a smooth flow.

Step 2:
Deliver short but precise staccato blows with your knife, to dismantle the citrus fruit.

o（｀ー´） ﾂ

That should leave the citrus fruit vulnerable to your next attack.

Step 3:
Aim for the white membrane that separates the citrus' flesh. This is their weak spot.

٩(×̯×)۶

Now lenghtwisely cut in the flesh all the way down to the center. Proceed so on both sides of every membrane to finish her off.

\(≧∇≦)/

If you follow these easy steps, you'll surely be able to defeat the evil citrus fruit demon and master my forbidden salmon recipe.

Now go, young shinobi, and practice the art of a kitchen ninja!

Salmon says..

..let's get romantic!

Finally I got the right idea on how to make the linguine with oyster mushrooms work.

And that's why I'll show you how to make a delicious, fancy meal which perfectly fits on the menu for the next candle-light dinner with your sweet lady.

Salmon says: 'Buy the following stuff for your dinner!' (for two people)

• 2 pieces of salmon
• 1 lemon
• 1 or 2 handful of oyster mushrooms
• oyster sauce
• 1 or 2 tsp of capers
• and of course linguine 
• 1 onion
• 1 or 2 gloves of garlic
• a bottle of white wine

Yeah I know, you'll propably not have capers nor oyster sauce at home but believe me, without them it just wouldn't be the same. Also the oyster sauce is very versatile. You can use it to season any dish with fish or seafood, especially the asian ones.
But Salmon is getting impatient, so let's get started!
First of all you'll need to chop the onions, the garlic and the carpers. Also slice the oyster mushrooms to bite sized pieces.
Then fillet the lemon.
Yep, you heard it.
But fear not, me lads! For I'll make an extra post just about how to fillet citrus fruits.
So after that is done, heat up a dash of oil in a frying pan and roast the onions, the garlic, the mushrooms and the salmon. Then deglaze everything with the white wine and stir some sour cream into the pan to create a nice creamy sauce. Put the flesh of half a lemon in the pan (you can half the fruit slices), add the minced capers and season the whole thing with the oyster sauce, salt (but be careful, the oyster sauce already tastes saltily) grounded pepper, and a pinch of nutmeg.

Let the salmon simmer in the sauce till it's well done et voilà you're dinner is ready.

Serve with a lighted candle and two glasses of white wine on a small table for two and last but not least Salmon says:
'Have a nice dinner.'

You want somma dis sausage?

Yeah I bet you want some.

And that's why today I'm gonna tell you how to make a Bavarian/Swiss delicacy. Good old-fashioned sausage salad.

It's the perfect light meal for a hot summer day, easy and quick to prepare and it's plain delicious.
In Southern Germany you can get it all year long in every inn and tavern. But you'll find it mostly being eaten on nice sunny days out in the beer garden of a pub.
Traditionally you'll have a pretzel or dark bread and a nice cold lager with the salad.

There are many variations of sausage salad, some with cheese, some without. Also some have pickles in it or even radishes or tomatoes.

For two people you'll need:

• half a ring Bologna or 3 to 4 Regensburger sausages
  (a total of about 300 gramm)
• 1 onion
• 1 tomato
• 50 gram Emmentaler or Swiss Mountain Cheese
• brandy or wine vinegar
• medium-strength or Dijon mustard

First of all, cut the sausages and the onions up into slices. Some people prefer really thin slices, others prefer the slices to be a bit thicker. I usually go with the thicker slices as you'll see in the picture below.
Then put the onions and the sausage slices in a bowl and cover them with a vinaigrette made from water, vinegar, salt, pepper and a pinch of mustard. Make the vinaigrette sourish but not too sour and a little bit salty. As a suggestion you could make it out of 100 ml vinegar, 250 ml water and half a teaspoon salt. But feel free to season to your own liking. Just remember, make it sour and salty, but keep it edible. You probably won't need salad oil in there, the sausage should provide enough fat.
While you marinade the sausages, cut the cheese and the tomato in mouth sized bits.
After 15 to 30 minutes you can add the cheese and the tomatoes (or pickles or radishes or all told)
 

Like I mentioned, a pretzel and a lager keeps it perfect company on a hot summer day.
There's nothing left to say except: "An Guadn!" (That's Bavarian for "Enjoy your meal!")

Sometimes you just don't get the hang of it

It's nearly the mid of the month and there's nothing I can post about.
Nothing except a failed attempt at some linguine with oyster mushrooms.
I'll try it again but it can't say when I'll get the time to do so.
Actually I'm somewhat stressed right now.
I failed at getting a place at university but that's not that bad at all, for plan B kicking in.
And the glorious plan B reads as follows:
Moving together with my girlfriend.
For you folks who never moved on your own, it can be a real messy, stressful and nerve-wracking thing.
But first of all, we gotta find us a nice new home. And that one is much easier said than done.
So you'll have to forgive my insolence; I'm not going to post new stuff till that one is sewn up.

Real American heritage, baby

Hey folks, today I wanna tell you the one or other thing about my girl. She's a real beaut, smart and funny but damn, sometimes she can get really demanding.
Don't get me wrong, she's a awesome girl. I really love her, exact the way she is but lord, sometimes she drives me crazy.
Tbh I'm not the easiest character out there and she has her own cross to bear with me. I know that, too.
And I love her funny lively way and while having a major affection for make-up (she has her own beauty blog) she also has some nerdish perks you'd never guess. And that's really cool, I think.
Also one awesome thing about her is her descent. You have to know, she's a real American girl, born in San Francisco, USA, unlike me.
And because today's her birthday, this post is dedicated to my gorgeous lovely lady.
So today's recipe is about a real American breakfast.
Today it's gonna be pancakes en masse.
The first time I ate pancakes was merely a few months ago when my girlfriend came up with that idea for Sunday's breakfast.
And it was one of the best breakfasts I've ever had in my life.
So if you or your girl never had pancakes before, now's the perfect time to consider them your next breakfast.

The ingredients are for about 12 medium sized (~ 12 cm in diameter) pancakes

• 2 medium sized eggs
• 400 gram of plain flour
• 1 small packet of baking powder (or 1 tbsp.)
• about 300 ml milk
• maple syrup
• butter
• some fresh fruits (I went with blueberries)
• some bacon strips (if desired)

So now all you have to do is put all the ingredients together in a bowl, stir them and maybe you can add some extra milk to get the mixture smooth but not too runny.

Put a frying pan on medium to high heat, put some oil (or whatever you use instead) in it and wait for it to get temperature.
Now take a ladle and pour the dough into the pan, creating the desired small cakes.
I generally make a stack containing three pancakes. You are free to make even bigger stacks, but you probably don't want to make them smaller. When you pile them up, spread some butter between each
layer and finally on the top too. Then drown that tower in syrup. Seriously you can't get enough syrup. Pour the blueberries on top and if you like you can add a side of baconstrips (As for me, what goes for syrup goes for bacon, too. There is never enough bacon.)

 If you wonder, yeah that's blood orange juice again. I do love it.

It's not awkward if we both stink ♥

Just admit it, you love garlic. And so does she. Everyone
loves garlic. (OK, nearly everyone)
Why should you give up on garlic, just because you want to cook a romantic dinner?
Simply, you don't have to.
So today's lesson in love is:
'Don't be ashamed of garlic breath. It doesn't matter if both of you smell.'
My girlfriend and I totally love garlic. It's healthy and tasty and you can put it in nearly every main course and it magically improves in taste.
It goes with all sorts of meat, with fish and vegetables. And it goes nicely with today's recipe, pasta with eggplant/minced meat ragout (or for you veggies out there, this recipe also tastes great without the meat)

You'll need (for the two of you):

• 1 eggplant
• 2 tomatoes
• a package sieved tomatoes
• 250 gr. minced meat (fifty-fifty pork and beef)
• 3 brown champignon mushrooms
  (or more if you don't use the meat)
• 1 onion
• 3-5 cloves of garlic
• 1 bottle of medium-dry or dry red wine
  (if you don't plan on drinking the wine later on you can cook with a cheap one)
• 250 gr. pasta (today I'll use spaghetti) 

Put a small saucepan on the oven and heat up some oil. I generally use a blended olive oil, because native oil doesn't stand the heat very good. Mince the onion and the garlic and brown them in the saucepan. Then, if you want some meat in your ragout, it's the perfect moment to put it into the saucepan and let it brown as well. It really needs to get some colour, because as with the colour so comes the flavour.
Deglaze the whole thing with the sieved tomatoes and put down the heat to medium. Then cut the other vegetables to bite-sized bits and put them in the saucepan.
Season with salt, pepper, oregano, marjoram, basil, thyme and rosemary (A tsp. each will do fine) and pour a good glass red wine in it.
Let the ragout simmer on low heat for about 20 minutes and taste it. You'll probably have to spice up the whole ragout again, because the eggplant and the tomatoes realy need a lot of salt and spices.
Now it's time you cook your pasta. I'm not gonna explain how you do that. And tbh I hope I don't need to either.
When your pasta is al dente you're practically ready to eat. You could arrange the whole thing with some Parmesan cheese on top of it, but you don't have to.

You can light up a candle, pour two glasses of wine and - voilà! - you have a romantic dinner.
(And after dinner you'd probably be too busy to notice your garlic breath, anyway)

Damn, I'm out of Club Mate again

So I went to the groceries to buy some Club Mate. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a ice tea made from Yerba mate. It's refreshing, a little bit on the bitter side and has a natural caffeine level twice as coke.
But my local store was out of Club Mate, so I decided on making my own ice tea.

As a passionate tea drinker I always have some loose Yerba mate tea around. If you don't have one, you can easily buy some loose Yerba mate tea in your local tea shop.

For 1 liter of ice tea you'll need:

• 2-3 limes or lemons
• 1 Tbsp loose Yerba mate

So first of all, rinse the loose tea under cold water. I used a small sieve for that. Then boil some water, about a glass full will suffice. Put the rinsed tea in a great tumbler and brew it with the hot water.
Let it steep for 5 minutes. Meanwhile you can squash the limes or lemons and pour the fresh juice in a pitcher. After the tea infusion is ready, add it to the pitcher and fill with cold water.

Before you drink the ice tea I recommend you to put it in the fridge and allow it to cool down.
And if you're still thirsty you can also use the loose leaves for a second infusion.

Me no speak Italiano!?

No really I don't speak Italian. But nevertheless I do enjoy some self made pizza.
So on today's menu is a little something my girlfriend asked me to cook with her for some time.
Here we go, it's flaky pastry pizza! - and wow, it's got a nice catchy ring to it.

The faboost thing with pizza are the vast possibilities it offers. The endless variety of toppings or cheese turns every piece into a unique pizza slice snowflake kind of a thing?
Yeah I guess that sounds stupid enough.

For the one I made you'll need:

• flaky pastry dough
• brown champignon mushrooms
• feta cheese (I used feta made from sheep milk)
• a tomato or two
• canned black olives (I prefer the black ones, you're free to use whichever you prefer)
• canned artichoke hearts
• bacon bits (as always optional)
• and finally sieved tomatoes

Take the dough and cut it to your desired pizza slice size. Take all the other ingredients and slice them to small bits. Then pour some sieved tomatoes on the pizza slice but be careful that you don't overdo with the sieved tomatoes, otherwise the dough won't get the desired crispness.
You can also use crème fresh instead to give it that sexy tarte flambée touch.

When you use the tomatoes, season it with basil and marjoram and maybe some oregano and finally put the other ingredients on top of it.
Than put the pizza slices in the oven and bake them till they look like the one I made.
(For those of you who don't have much oven experience, I guess 20-25 minutes at 200 °C will do a fine work)

You can also offer your girlfriend to make the pizza together, half the work means double the fun.
Put the fresh pizza right on the table, open a bottle of wine and I think there's nothing more to add than bon appétit.

All the magic happens in the kitchen

For my first recipe I've decided to go for the first thing you'll eat on your average day.
The breakfast.
Actually I'm not really a breakfast man but sometimes, especially when my girl's over at my place vice versa we make some, eat together and just enjoy the beautiful morning together with some delicious food.
But that's not your average breakfast. Not the one you eat every morning before work or school, not your lame vanilla cornflakes or bun with strawberry jam.
I'm talking about real breakfast. The breakfast that makes your lady go all like 'wow honey, you're the best making me such a nice breakfast all by yourself. How about I'll pay you back with some nice sweet... back massage?' (Or something along this lines)

So why don't you let your girl sleep for a little bit longer, put yourself in the kitchen and make some magic omelet?

All you'll need are (per person)

• 2-3 medium sized eggs
• a handful of bacon bits
• some black olives
• a fresh ripe tomato
• a bunch of chives (and some extra for a nice toasted slice of bread)
• some brown champignon mushrooms

Break open the eggs in a small bowl and beat the hell out of them till you get a smooth yellowish texture (works best with a eggbeater or if you don't have one go and buy one. And for the moment a simple fork will suffice)
Get the bacon into a frying pan and put it on high heat. I'm using a Teflon-coated pan so I don't need to add extra oil, for the bacon provides enough fat.
Chop the other ingredients (except for the bacon) to neat small bits and put them into the bowl with the beaten eggs. Now season the mixture with some salt and freshly grounded pepper. (Here again, if you don't have a pepper mill, you'd probably wanna buy one. It really is worth it's price.)
Now wait till the bacon is nicely fried, put the heat down to medium/low and pour your egg mixture in the pan. Make sure the whole pan is covered with your omelet so it'll get a nice round shape.
While you wait for the omelet to be done, toast some bread, butter it and dredge the little guy with the chopped chives you have left over.

When the omelet is done, fold it down in the middle and then slice it in two halves. As you can see I made some nice cup of coffee and also a glass of fresh blood orange juice goes nice with it.

So guys, do yourself a little favour and treat your ladies with a nice (but easy to cook) breakfast now and then.


PS: For those of you who are vegetarian, that recipe can do easily without the bacon

Once upon a time... that bitch loved my food

Well, let's get this started with.
The idea to write my own blog came to me thanks to my girlfriend. She's been writing her blog for now let's say more than a whole year or so and I actually liked the idea of writing just for the sake of getting things off of my head and live out my creative side for a bit.
That set me to the problem what to write about. Seriously who'd want to read a bunch of random posts about a guys life? Well at least not me.
So I'll write about one of my biggest and more lasting hobbies you hopefully can relate to what with cooking occupying a lot of time in my (and propably your) life.
Also that gives me the opportunity to sneak some random post about my daily life into this blog, mixing it up with the recipes and giving them a nice little story.
After all this is a blog about cooking, not a cookbook.
So I'll hope you'll all enjoy reading this if I'll get some readers eventually.